Dear Dimitri
by ThisLittleBluebird
Summary: Dimitri is still refusing to see Rose after changing. The more time he spends with Lissa, the harder it is for her to come to terms with his rejection. To top it all off, Rose isn't out of danger yet. Enemies still seek revenge.
1. Chapter 1

**So, it's been a while since I posted anything. I hope I haven't disappointed too many people, but heres something I decided to start after I read the Vampire Academy. It takes place towards the end of Spirit Bound and the first chapter is pretty much similar to what happens in the book: Dimitri has just been changed back and doesn't want to see Rose. I'm not sure how it'll turn out. I just started writing with no ideas but I'll conjure something up.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Academy or any of the characters. Only anything you don't recognize throughout.**

**Chapter 1**

When you fall in love for the first time, it takes a hold of you. You never forget it, no matter who else comes into your life. Well, for me that's an understatement. Dimitri was my first love. I mean, sure I've seen other guys and kissed other guys in the past. But I never truly felt anything for them. Not like Dimitri. He made me feel something so warm and charitable, something I'd never felt before.

When Dimitri got turned – by force – into a Strigoi, my whole world was torn apart. I travelled the world for him, risked my life, left Lissa all for him. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, but I had to kill him. He'd once said that he would rather die than become a Strigoi and I'd promised that if it ever came to that, then I would save him. But despite my efforts, things didn't turn out so well. We'd been miraculously lucky enough to make the impossible, possible. After a difficult prison break to get Victor out of Tarasov, we'd discovered that his brother, Robert Doru, had somehow managed to turn a Strigoi back to their original state. Everyone knew, or thought, it was impossible, but apparently not. I was determined to get Dimitri back no matter the risk and I did: with complications.

See, to turn a Strigoi back you have to charm a silver stake with spirit, including the four other elements: wind, earth, fire and water. Then you have to drive it through the Strigoi's heart which, believe me, isn't easy. Strigoi are extremely fast, not to mention strong. Even highly trained guardians don't always succeed.

Lissa, being a spirit user, was able to charm a stake with heavy practice. But the stake had to be driven through the Strigoi's heart _by _a spirit user and Lissa had no idea how to do that. She couldn't possibly learn the skills it had taken me years to learn in such little time. And yet she managed. In some incredibly impossible way, she managed, and for that I will always be grateful. But that's where things get complicated.

When Lissa staked Dimitri, it was like she had healed his soul. Dimitri had said that he felt her healing him and bringing him back. They'd somehow formed some kind of protective connection. It wasn't romantic or anything like the bond that Lissa and I shared, but he had promised to protect her and stand by her side for ever as his debt.

Naturally, I was jealous of Lissa. But I also admired Dimitri's appreciation for her. He was so much like his old self again, like the Dimitri I knew and loved – and that's what made it all so much worse. Dimitri didn't want to see me. He felt guilty and depressed over everything he'd done to me as a Strigoi, and he'd told me that his love for me had faded and that he had given up on everything we had. Now, all that plagues me is anger and sadness and jealousy; pretty much everything I shouldn't feel. People keep telling me that he'll come round eventually, but I know Dimitri. Once he believes in something, he won't give up. And he believes that he doesn't – shouldn't – belong in my life anymore.

How can he possibly think that when he promised to stand by my best friends side forever? How can he regard her so highly and not me? It should be me who he pledged to protect. I was the one who travelled the world for him. I was the one who continually fought Strigoi to get him back. _I _was the one who discovered how to bring him back.

I did it all. Granted, I might not have staked him but that was merely because it wouldn't work without a spirit user. This thought made my anger burn. I couldn't sit around and mope anymore. I needed to distract myself. It didn't help that I could feel Lissa through the bond talking to Dimitri. She'd been visiting him regularly since he was brought back to the Royal Court and, although I knew she was only trying to help, I couldn't help but feel angry at her too. It was petty and stupid but it bothered me.

Heaving myself up from beneath my spot under a tree, I brushed the dirt off of my clothes and made my way back towards my room. Technically, it was early afternoon in Morio time but they ran on a nocturnal schedule which meant that the sun was down, covering the Royal Court in blanket of darkness. I kicked the ground lazily, trying to keep my thoughts contained. It didn't really matter though, because just as I'd reached the main buildings, they re-erupted when Lissa and Dimitri stepped outside.

It didn't surprise me when I saw them. They were on their way back from one of the cafe's here on the grounds. Although I'd avoided visiting Lissa through the bond, I'd been able to feel where they were.

As usual, Dimitri was flanked by three guardians. They were finally easing up on him.

"Rose," Lissa said when she noticed me. She felt uneasy about the situation, sad for me. But at the same time I could feel her protective nature towards Dimitri now that I was around. I didn't want to say anything but that realisation made my anger burst.

"You think he needs protecting from me?" I blurted. It wasn't specifically what she'd been thinking, but it was close enough.

"No! Why would you think -" Lissa paused, realising. "Of course, you read my thoughts."

"Actually, I didn't. You don't cover them up," I snapped, hating that she was mad at me for it. I knew it was an invasion of privacy but it's not like I meant to. When Lissa felt strongly about something it was very difficult not to feel it.

"I try," was all she said.

When neither of us said anything after that, Dimitri spoke up. I'd been so frustrated that I almost forgot he was there.

"Let's go," he said to Lissa, giving me a stony look. It was his way of warning me to stay away. I didn't think he meant to hurt me, but his expression said otherwise.

Lissa stared at me for a moment. She felt helpless between us, but it seemed to me like she was taking his side more than mine. When she started to turn away, another snarky remark forced its way out of me.

"Is this how it is now? My best friend and the guy I love?" I regretted saying it as soon as the words left my mouth. But the anger kept spiralling out. "Do I even exist between you anymore?"

Lissa spun around. Dimitri did too. Lissa was thinking how I could even think that about them, but Dimitri stopped her from saying it.

"Enough," he hissed. "I've told you, Rose. I don't want to see you anymore. Why can't you understand that?"

"Because I love you," I yelled back. "Because I saved you. Lissa only did it because she had to."

"That's not true," she intervened. "I wanted to help Dimitri."

"But you only did it because I couldn't." I turned back to Dimitri, unsure of how much sense I was actually making. "It was me who saved you, Dimitri."

He shook his head.

"It was me. I travelled the world to find you. I risked my life for you. I got the answer to bringing you back. Why isn't that enough?" I stared pleadingly at him. I wanted so desperately to get through to him, but he was so set on the belief that he didn't deserve to be near me. He would only be near Lissa.

"I can't face you after what I did, Rose. Those things...they were unforgivable." His expression shifted slightly, and his eyes softened. "I'm sorry."

As much as I tried to offer my forgiveness, nothing could change his mind. But then a thought occurred to me.

"If you can't be near me because of what you did," I said. "Then how can you be near Lissa?" They both gave me a puzzled look and I continued, "When you were a Strigoi, you didn't care that Nathan wanted to kill her. You said you didn't care what happened to her."

Lissa gasped, but I didn't look away. I could already feel her shock. Instead, my gaze was fixed solely on Dimitri, on how he tensed as I spoke the words. He knew I was right. He knew it was unfair.

"I don't deny it," he said slowly. "But at least I didn't physically harm her. I can face that."

"You just can't face me," I whispered, exasperated. My shoulders slumped and i tried to keep my emotions intact.

Dimitri didn't say anymore. He nudged Lissa gently in the direction they were heading before, leaving me hopeless and hurting over his rejection.

**Like I said, this chapter pretty much echoes the book, but it's just the beginning. Please let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, a lot of you were interested in this story before it even started. Thanks for all the reviews so far. Heres the next chapter!**

**Chapter 2**

Standing in the middle of the courtyard, I fought with myself to make a rational decision. Lissa and I were best friends. We spent a lot of time together and it was pretty much inevitable that Dimitri would run into me at some point. I knew how fragile our relationship already was. I was walking on thin ice trying to change his mind about everything, and seeing him so many times around Lissa was only going to dissolve whatever little connection we had left.

With that thought clearly etched into my head, I trudged back to my room to finalise my decision. I had to leave Lissa. Well, not exactly leave her. I was always going to be able to see inside her head wherever I went, but I was going to have to avoid her if I wanted Dimitri to have any kind of happiness at all. That was already a hard thing to make him feel with his depression weighing him down. But seeing me was making everything worse. I had to leave them if I wanted him to recover.

When I reached my room, I grabbed a pen and a pad from my desk and thought about what I should say. Did I start by telling him he was a jerk for acting so ignorant towards me? Or did I express my undeniable love for him and beg him to take my back? Neither of those seemed right. I'd never been all that good at expressing myself, so what did it matter? He wouldn't see me after it anyway.

So I just wrote.

_Dear Dimtri,_

_Losing you was the hardest thing I'd ever had to go through. Maybe if you died a human, I could handle it. But a Strigoi? That was the one thing you truly didn't want to happen, and seeing you so amazed at the new power you had...it was sickening. It made my heart ache so much more for the old Dimitri – the one who said he loved me, the one who taught me how to control myself (that never really stuck by the way). When I found out what you were, I knew that I had to find you and kill you. It was what the real Dimitri wanted._

_ But when I discovered that there was a way to turn a Strigoi back to its original state, I had to find out how. I went to incredible lengths, Dimitri. It's not something I can explain in a letter, but maybe one day Lissa will. That's why I'm writing this. I have to tell you that no matter what, I will always love you, even if your love for me faded. I can't face you every day, knowing that you only live for Lissa. It's wrong. It's so, so wrong._

_ So I'm finishing it. You can have Lissa. You can protect her all you want, but I won't be around to see it._

_Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her that she'll always be my best friend, but I'm gone now. I can't face your rejection anymore. And I know what you're thinking: that this isn't the Rose you know and loved. This is weak and pathetic and completely not me. But that's just it. I _am_ weak. I fought so hard for you and you slammed it back in my face. I can't do this anymore._

_I love you Dimitri._

_Yours Rose xx_

Writing the letter made my tears finally break free. I fought too long and too hard for Dimitri, and it was all for nothing. At least to him anyway. It would always mean something to me no matter what. But just like Dimitri had, I had to let go.

Folding the letter up, I wrote Dimitri's name on it and pushed it to the middle of the desk. I stared at it for a long time, contemplating whether I could really give it to him. It seemed like all of my energy had gone into those words and now I wasn't sure if I could really go through with it.

A sudden knock at the door snapped me out of my thoughts. It was still the middle of the Moroi day which meant that anybody could have stopped by, but I wasn't sure who – apart from Adrian – would want to see me. It couldn't be Adrian, though, because he'd been forced to spend the weekend with his parents talking about plans to go back to college.

Dragging myself to the door, I opened it to find a big, burly guardian on the other side. I didn't recognise him which made me instantly question why he would be here for me.

"Yes?" I asked uncertainly.

"The queen wants to see you," he said. "She has some important news."

I furrowed my brow, wondering why Tatiana would be so interested in sharing news with me. It's not like we were on friendly terms or anything.

Curiously, I stepped outside and followed the guardian to the main building. "What's this about?" I asked as I crossed the grounds for the third time that day.

The guardian just shrugged. "Don't know. She just told me that it was important and that you were expected right away."

That didn't surprise me. Tatiana was always one to make things dramatic. I suspected that she probably just want to rant at me for being 'social' with Adrian, but that didn't make me feel any better.

When we reached her room, the guardian knocked three times and opened the door. "Miss Hathaway is here, your Majesty." He gave her a courteous bow before disappearing out of the room again.

"Ah yes," Tatiana said. "Come and sit down, Rose."

Uneasily, I crossed the room and sat down in one of the plush red chairs opposite her. She looked royal as ever in a long, blue gown, even it wasn't for show. It was then that I noticed another Moroi sat silently among us.

"This is the famous Rosemarie Hathaway," Tatiana joked, sending the Moroi a cheerful smile. Her eyes were tight though, giving the impression that she didn't really mean it in a nice way. "Rose," she said. "This is Robert Daramu. He is here to talk about guardian ownership."

The name wasn't familiar to me, so I doubted that he was royal. But he seemed sophisticated enough, dressed in a sharp black suit and tie. His hair was a light, reddish brown and although he was apparently old enough to be discussing guardians with Tatiana himself, he had a young, sportive look to him. Guessing, I'd say he was in his mid-twenties.

"What's that got to do with me?" I asked bluntly. As many people knew, I wasn't a popular first choice at being a guardian for anyone. It shocked me that they'd even want me to discuss it.

"Well," Tatiana replied, looking slightly uncomfortable. She managed to keep her smile though. "Robert would like you to be his guardian."

My jaw dropped. Of course I'd wanted to be a guardian. It was what I'd trained my whole life for. But I'd always imagined that I'd be Lissa's guardian. Now, being requested from someone else (despite Tasha's earlier request) I felt truly and utterly overwhelmed. I still desperately wanted to protect Lissa, but I knew that wasn't possible now, and having someone else ask for me was extremely lucky considering I'd been expecting to work files for the rest of my working life. I knew I had to accept it.

"Oh...well...th-that was unexpected," I finally said, glancing over at Robbie. He didn't seem like a bad guy. Maybe he'd be good to work for.

"Of course, that is if you're not planning to be assigned to anyone else," Robbie said. I hadn't expected him to be that considerate, but the smoothness of his voice made me change my mind. I think I might have scored now that I couldn't protect Lissa. It was also a shock to discover that he was British.

I gave a nod and shake of my head at the same time, unsure of how to respond. "N-no, not at all. I mean, if it means I don't have to file papers or dig up soil every day."

Tatiana was taken aback by my sort-of acceptance. She looked wide-eyed at me, a faint look of hope and relief in her eyes. "Are you saying that you will be his guardian?" she asked me.

It took me a moment to process everything, but eventually I nodded. "Yes." I said. Then, realising that this was my opportunity to let go of Dimitri, I nodded again. "Yes, I said more firmly. "I will be his guardian.

-x-

I returned to my room in a haze. I'd just accepted Robert Daramu, a guy I had no clue about, to be the Moroi I worked as a guardian for. Maybe I was going crazy, letting go of things too fast. But at the same time, it felt like the right thing to do. I left with him tomorrow morning to England I assumed, but they hadn't told me much yet.

After rushing around packing my room away into a suitcase, I flung myself onto the bed, deciding that I would visit Lissa one last time. At least until I wasn't in the Royal Court anymore. She was still with Dimitri which shocked and also didn't shock me at the same time. They were in a room this time, DImitri's I realised when I saw the stack of Western novels on a shelf. His room wasn't as big as ours, but it was still big enough to accommodate him.

Seeing Lissa with him in his room made my jealousy slither out again. I could just about handle them in the cafe together, but in his room? That was more private, something that he'd never really let me see before.

Guardians still stood by the door, but Lissa and Dimitri talked quietly like they didn't exist.

"She's sad for you," Lissa was saying. "She loves you and she wishes that you would feel the same again."

Dimitri sighed. "It's not that simple." That was something he always said. "I can't love her anymore. After everything I've done...it ... can't talk about it. Not here."

Dimitri looked towards the guardians. I could tell he was getting tired of them following him around.

"Leave," Lissa suddenly said. I felt the magic of spirit light up inside of her as she worked her compulsion. "Wait outside the door."

The guardians instantly tensed under her power. They froze at first, but after a moment each of them stepped outside. That was something Lissa had never felt right doing and it shocked me that she actually had.

"No tell me," shesaid, turning to Dimitri.

That look of awe and amazement I'd seen when she had first staked him was there again, and my heart panged knowing that he would never look at me like that again.

"What I did to her was wrong," he said, more comfortable this time. "I don't deserve to be near her."

"But she deserves to be near you. Not me."

"No," Dimitri hissed, moving towards her. His hands reached out, grabbing her shoulders. Not hard enough to hurt her, but just so that she would look him in the eyes. "You saved me. You healed my soul. For that, I will always owe you."

For a moment, they stared at each other. I couldn't tell what Dimitri was seeing right then, but Lissa was overwhelmed, filled with appreciation and sadness all at the same time. It only took a second though – one second for him to lean forward and press his lips against hers. The shock that filled her then was mixed with my own, enough that it forced me out of her head. But this time I was glad. What I had just witnessed was like a blow to the stomach, seizing me so hard that I felt sick. I ran to the bathroom feeling worse than I did when a Strigoi was nearby. How could Dimitri do this?

**Sigh, I hated to write that last part :( Please let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Whoa, thanks for all the reviews guys. Some where a little intimidating after the incident with Lissa and Dimitri but it's only a story remember. I promise he didn't do it purposely! Anyhow, heres the next chapter. **

**Chapter 3**

When my alarm clock rang at seven, I didn't even have time to complain. I'd already packed my case before I slept, but I still had to shower, eat and make myself look presentable in my guardian uniform. In less than two hours I would be leaving the Royal Court with Robert to be a professional guardian, leaving Lissa and leaving Dimitri for good. Thinking about them made my chest hurt. Seeing Dimitri kiss her, it was...heartbreaking. Excruciating. I'd never thought that he would leave me for someone else; never thought that he'd stop loving me. Especially for my best friend!

Forcing the image of them out of my head, I dragged myself to the shower. I hurriedly scrubbed my body, hoping to scrub the pain away, but I knew that was wishing for too much. These things took time. When I was done, I slipped into my black and white guardian uniform and tied my hair up into a long ponytail. I looked professional but I didn't feel it. My eyes were dull and sad and my skin looked pale.

Thirty minutes later, I arrived at the car sheds where another guardian waited. When he saw me approach, he gave me a small nod and took my suitcase from me. Robert wasn't here yet. I felt anxious and sick waiting around, so I'd gotten here early before Lissa or anyone else would be up to see me. A quick check through the bond told me that she was just waking up.

"Is Robert on his way?" I asked the guardian, suddenly worried that if he didn't get here soon I might just back out of the whole ordeal.

The guardian shrugged. "Should be."

A moment later, Robert came strolling towards us with two other guardians by his side. It came to me that, if they were his guardians, what did he need me for?

He was wearing a long, black trench coat with shades which reminded me painfully of Dimtri. But when he reached us, he slipped his shades into his pocket and smiled politely. "It's good to see you on time. From what I've heard, I wasn't sure that you'd show up."

"Yeah, well, I don't chicken out easily," I mumbled.

Robert just nodded, his grin widening. He glanced at the car and then back at me. "Shall we?"

My stomach did a little flip. I didn't get scared often. Well, of course I got scared. But facing Strigoi and witnessing death, I'd kind of gotten used to it. Now it was different – leaving everyone and everything I'd grown up with, my nerves were starting to get to me. I took one last look at the court, absorbing the image permanently into my brain. Hesitantly, I slid into the car.

-x-

I was right to assume that we were going to England. Robert apparently owned a business over there which he ran with two other Moroi. I wasn't sure what to think of it. He didn't go into any specifics which made me wonder if he ran a secret bloodwhore business, but he didn't seem like the type. Eventually I told him I was sleeping, but I was actually going to visit Lissa's head. I knew it was wrong, but I had to see what was happening back at the Court. Did they know that I'd gone yet? Where they spending more time together? I refused to think about that last one.

When I slipped into her head, the first thing I felt was shock. Complete and utter shock. Lissa was spying through my peep hole, curious after knocking several times. When she saw that the room was empty, stripped of any sign of my presence, she started to panic. She wasn't sure what to do: did she go to Tatiana and demand an explanation? Or did she tell Dimitri first?

She didn't want to see Dimitri after last night, which surprised me. I'd jumped out of her head too early to know if she'd kissed him back, but from what I was feeling, it didn't look like it. She knew she had to tell him though, so she went to his room first. As usual, two guardians were stood outside.

When Dimitri opened the door, his smile faltered. "Lissa," he said quietly. He seemed surprised to see her here. After last night, he felt stupid, idiotic. He didn't even think that she'd want to see him again.

Lissa didn't look directly at him. She stared at the ground, her hands balled into little fists. "I think Rose is gone," she said.

"What?"

Even the guardians were shocked.

"I just went up to her room and she didn't answer. So, I looked through the peep hole and everything is gone, Dimitri. Her room is empty."

Dimitri didn't say anything. Instead, he stormed straight past her, ignoring the guardian's calls about not being able to go out alone. But he didn't stop. He knew they would follow.

Lissa hurried to catch up. "What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

"Investigating."

When they reached my room, Dimitri fisted on the door just to be sure. Then he spied through the peep hole like Lissa had. The emptiness of my room made his breath catch, which was unusual for him.

"See," Lissa said. "I can't understand why – Oh God."

Dimitri suddenly spun around. "What is it?"

But Lissa couldn't bring herself to speak. She shook her head, swallowing hard. "She saw us," she managed to choke out. "She must have seen what happened last night."

Dimitri didn't say anything. Instead, he started to shove against the door. The guardians instantly went for him, but he pushed them away angrily. He only had to shove a few times before the door snapped forward, breaking away from the top hinge. Dimitri looked around. My wardrobe was empty with the door open, my bed was stripped and my desk was bare. Except for one thing.

I had totally forgotten about the letter I wrote, so when Dimitri picked it up I started to get embarrassed. He stayed calm as he read it, but I saw through Lissa that his eyes were glazed.

"What's that?" she asked him.

He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's a letter. To me."

Lissa felt a stab of jealousy at that. She had expected a goodbye from her best friend, too. "Well, what does it say?" she pressed.

Dimitri sighed again. He pinched the bridge of his nose and re-read the letter. "She's left the court and it's all my fault."

I wanted so badly to go back and wrap him in my arms right then. I couldn't face being the reason for his pain. But he had hurt me, too. He had rejected me. He had kissed my best friend.

"I shouldn't have done what I did last night," he suddenly said. "I wasn't thinking straight. It's just...this...protectiveness I feel towards you – for saving me – it's strange. I don't understand it. Last night I was so confused. I don't know what made me do it."

He gave Lissa a look of remorse and her anger instantly melted. I understood how difficult it was to stay mad at him.

"I still love her," Diimitri continued. "I thought staying away from her was for the best. I didn't want to hurt her anymore."

"Of course you still love her," Lissa said, coming to sit beside him. "What you both had was special." She touched his shoulder gently. "Come on, let's go for a walk."

Their walk turned into a trip to see Tatiana. Dimitri was reluctantly accepted – after some heavy persuasion from Lissa – to see the Queen. Quietly, they both stepped into her room.

She looked as elegant as always in a silk red dress and beautiful, gold jewellery. Her dark hair was tied into a bun with a small crown just above it.

"Well, what can I do for you?" Tatiana asked sharply.

Lissa took a step forward, clasping her hands together to keep them from shaking. She didn't usually get nervous around Tatiana, but she didn't know what to expect today.

"W-we want to know where Rose has gone," she said.

"Ah," Tatiana smiled. "You know that she no longer stays at the court. New travels fast." In a slow, graceful movement – the kind that you'd typically expect from a royal figure – she stood from her chair and sauntered towards the two of them. "Well," she said, "Rose has been paired up with a guardian. They left early this morning."

Lissa's jaw dropped. She couldn't see Dimitri behind her but she knew he'd be feeling similarly to her. I was meant to be her guardian. It's what we planned for years. Now, Lissa's hope had been shattered.

**Let me know what you think :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Whoa, thanks for all the great reviews. I never expected so many! This chapter isn't as interesting as I wanted it to be, but I've had a lot of work to do and I had to squeeze it in where I could. Hope you like it :)**

**Chapter 4**

London airport was crowded as we walked from arrivals. I couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed to be out of America, especially now that I had to be professional. Robert was already flanked by two guardians, but he ordered one to walk behind him so that I could take his place. Either he thought I was better at the job or he thought I might make a run for it when he wasn't looking. I hauled my suitcase along with me, all the while scanning the area for anything suspicious, but there were mostly just families and children. The other guardians would be on the look-out anyway.

When I stumbled out of the airport into the 'pick-up' and 'drop off' zone, Robert lead us towards a shiny black van already waiting. I assumed he must've called somebody while I went to the 'ladies room'. His organization didn't surprise me, but I'd expected more of a classy vehicle for someone like him. Glancing at the four of us with our luggage, I could understand the need for space.

Robert nodded to a dark figure in the driver's seat before he headed to the back of the van. He opened the doors and tossed his case near the back. "Go on," he said, jerking his head from me to the vans interior. It was dull inside with a long seat along each wall. There were a few boxes and tools thrown around, but other than that it seemed like it was used mainly for transporting people.

I heaved my case on top of Robert's and climbed in, the two guardians following after me. Robert shut the doors behind them and climbed in the front. "Welcome to England," he said over his shoulder.

I said nothing.

We didn't drive for too long before the van stopped and the guardians started to heave the cases out.

"Are we here?" I asked, hopping out after them. I was eager to stretch my legs _and _to find out where I'd be staying from now on.

"Don't look too excited," Robert said, coming round to grab his own case. I liked that – that he didn't have people doing things for him. "It's not some kind of elite manor."

My hope dimmed a little. "Oh."

I wasn't expecting a huge crystal palace or anything, but I thought Robbie lived in style. Looking around, I realised I was very wrong. We were standing outside an old warehouse near the river Thames. From the outside, it looked shabby and run down with a sign from an old company on it. Well, the framework of a sign. Robert was clearly getting that re-done. The name from the previous company had been covered up but nothing had replaced it yet.

Weeds grew among the guttering and around the parking lot, a clear sign that it hadn't been used in a while. At least outside, anyway.

"That's it?" I turned to Robert, pointing over my shoulder. "I'm living in that?"

Robert laughed and ran a hand through his hair. His laugh was deep and even, not as beautiful as Dimitri's, but it had its own charm.

"Of course not," he said. "This is where I run my business. You'll see the apartment later."

Hmm, apartment...that sounds more like it.

There were two big doors that were the full height of the building at the front, but Robert led us towards some rusty metal steps at the far side of the warehouse. They led up to a door that said 'NO ENTRY' probably for anyone who didn't work here. He fiddled around for the right key and motioned me in.

Although I was just a damphir, being half Moroi gave my eyes the ability to adjust quickly. The room was dark but the interior slowly came into focus. Robert switched a light on behind me. I was instantly aware of an office layout with a wide desk and grey filing cabinets against the back wall. A bright green sofa was pushed against the opposite wall and believe me, it stuck out like a sore thumb. Ugh, and I thought Robert had style.

A few clustered sheets of paper were scattered on the floor. Robert was quick to pick them up. "Don, Simon, take those down to the storeroom," he said, pointing to a stack of boxes in the corner of the office. "I'll show Rose around."

The two guardians grabbed the boxes and disappeared through another door that led downstairs. Robert took me through a door at the far end of the room that led out onto a balcony. It looked out over the whole of the warehouse. He flicked on some more switches and the whole building lit up.

"Whoa," I breathed. Robert had turned the warehouse into some sort of obstacle course with training mats and gym facilities. There was a track that ran the length of the warehouse by the far side and a climbing frame on the opposite side. "This is amazing," I said. "You own all this?"

Robert nodded. "We have a gym in the back too, but this is where the main stuff takes place."

"Main stuff?"

"Yeah, lessons and training. You'll see tomorrow."

-x-

Robert owned an apartment nearby, overlooking a wonderful view of London. His guardians lived in the apartments on either side of him so it was easy for them to keep a lookout. But since I'd only just arrived, Robert had cleared out a spare room for me until we figured something out.

"I don't usually use this room," he said, shifting some books and other items out of sight. "I keep work stuff in it mainly, but I had it cleared out and a bed moved in whilst we were away."

I looked around. It wasn't that big, but it was good enough. I threw my case onto the bed and slumped down next to it. "Thanks."

Robert nodded. "Okay, well, help yourself to anything," he said, before he turned and left the room.

I sighed. I had no idea how my future was going to turn out now. Maybe I would be fighting Strigoi everyday that come to raid the warehouse. Or maybe I'll just be standing in a corner begging danger to come. I didn't know, and I didn't particularly want to find out. I felt so out of place here, like I didn't belong. But I didn't belong back at the Royal Court either. Not around Lissa and Dimitri. All I did was cause trouble there.

I sighed again and stood up to look at the desk that was already here. It was plain and wooden with a few draws to put things in. I opened them all but they were empty. A lamp stood in the corner of the room and a small wooden wardrobe to match the desk. I was going to have trouble fitting all of my clothes into that.

"You better get used to it, Rose," I told myself, opening my suitcase. "You're gonna be here for a while yet."

My clothes bulged out the moment my case popped open, but I pushed them all aside and pulled out some of my personal decor. There was a picture of me and Lissa when we were younger, smiling foolishly. I put it on the desk with the Nazar pendant that she gave me.

I was in the process of putting some other stuff on the desk when something caught my eye. A piece of white paper was stashed between the wall and the back of the desk. It must have fallen down whilst Robert moved everything. I pulled it out and opened it. I was confused at first. There was a list of names, none that I recognised so I didn't think they were royal. But there was a lot. I scanned through them all and then looked at the top. The words 'Moroi Volunteers: Self-Defence' was printed above them.

Shit.

Robert wanted Moroi to fight like the guardians.

**Sorry it's not as long either. Please let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ooookie dokie, terribly sorry about the wait but one is busy, you know? Here's the next part :)**

**Chapter 5**

"What is this all about?" I demanded, striding into Robbie's kitchen. He did a double-take from his place by the breakfast bar when he saw me holding up the list of names. "Self defence classes? That's what you're using the warehouse for?"

"Rose-" he started.

"Does Tatiana know about this? Did she allow it?"

"Of course not," Robbie sighed. "She would never agree to it." He stared over my shoulder in contempt. "She would never let me take you."

His words chilled me and I took a step back. "What have I got to do with this?"

"You're a great fighter, Rose. You know what you want and you know how to get it."

"That's not entirely true," I said, thinking of Dimitri. Robbie ignored me.

"Word has spread about you and your opinions on self defence," he said. You think Moroi should learn to protect themselves and I agree, as do many others." He took a step closer to me, eyes piercing into my own."We've been running classes for a few weeks now but we're having limited success. I thought what better than to have young Rose Hathaway, an experienced Strigoi fighter herself, to train our volunteers. Wouldn't you agree?"

I didn't answer him.

"This is all for a good cause, Rose. I promise you," he continued, noticing my unease. "We _need_ to protect ourselves. Guardians are numbered now."

A heartbeat of silence and rational thought made me realise that Robbie was right. I'd agreed with Moroi self-defence from the start so what reason did I have to doubt him. More guardians were being killed in action than those being officially labelled and paired, and the Moroi were becoming increasingly targeted by Strigoi. Not to mention, more were turning.

"You're right," I finally said. "I do agree with self-defence, but I wish you'd told me first. I couldn't help my suspicion, especially when I had no idea what you wanted me for."

Robbie let out a breath of relief. He took my hands gently in his and smiled down at me. "Thank you, Rose. Thank you."

I'd never noticed how charming his smile was until now...

"Wait." A sudden thought came to me. It'd always been at the back of my mind but I'd never managed to ask it. "I know most royal Moroi but...I don't recognise..."

"I'm not royal," Robbie finished. "Just a typical Moroi. Why do you ask?"

"Oh...um...nothing really. It makes sense now." I shook my head at the thought of almost believing that Tatiana had any pity. "I didn't recognise you as a royal, but I wasn't sure. I just didn't think that Tatiana would even consider me for a royal Moroi anymore. In fact, I didn't think she'd consider me for anyone after the trouble I've caused. That's why it makes sense that she'd blow me away on a common Morio."

"Gee, thanks for that," Robbie snickered.

"Oh! No, I didn't mean it like that...I meant...you know what I meant."

"It's alright, I get it. Would you care for a drink?" he asked, reaching for two glasses in the cupboard behind him.

* * *

Two hours later we were slouched on the sofa laughing at a terrible joke Robbie had just told. I wasn't even sure if he'd asked how old I was before he'd offered me alcohol. Not that I cared. It dulled my senses and I enjoyed not feeling the hurt over Dimitri. In fact, I enjoyed just being able to relax and have fun. It'd been a while since I'd done that.

"H-hey," I slurred over my glass. "How old are you, Robbie?"

"Robbie?" Robbie laughed. "Shortening my name already? I didn't know you cared."

I blushed as I realised what he meant.

"I'm twenty two," he stated. "Twenty three next month. Does that scare you?"

"Why would it scare me?"

"Well, you don't know what kind of person I am. I could be..." he leaned over to whisper, "weird."

A bubble of laughter escaped my throat and I looked up at him. "Weird? I don't think you're weird. I think you're a very nice person." I gave him a 'so there' nod.

"I'm glad you think that." Robbie heaved himself up and set his glass back down on the coffee table. "You know," he suddenly said. "I like you. I think we're going to get somewhere with you."

I followed suit and set my glass down, feeling unexpectedly sober at the mention of my teaching. I was still unsure about the idea but I didn't even know if I had a choice.

"Is this...training thing...is it realistic? I mean dummies and weapons – they're great but it takes more than that to fight a Strigoi. No amount of training can prepare a person for the real thing."

Robbie grew silent for a moment, thinking. I assumed he'd never really thought about actually fighting a Strigoi. He was one of those anxious kind of people; he liked to do everything upfront without thinking it through. That used to be me. I guess it still is me, but the real world has made me wiser and more mature. I still make irrational decisions but it's always with the right instinct and the right frame of mind. Except for that last decision I made to leave with Robbie...

That was an act of cowardice.

"We can make it realistic," Robbie finally said. "When the team is ready we can arrange hunts."

"Whoa, wait a second. Is that really such a good idea? You can't guarantee anyone's safety like that."

"You wanted it to be realistic."

"Yes," I said, realising I'd referenced all the wrong ideas. "But there is a difference between being realistic and being suicidal."

Robbie snorted. "Don't tell me you've never done it."

"Don't you tell me-" I stopped short. Robbie was right. Again. I had done it before. I joined a group of Strigoi hunters in Russia and practically asked for them to be killed. Even tracing Dimitri himself was reckless.

"Okay, look, this is ridiculous. I know it because I've tried it and it does _not _work out the way you want it to. Ever." I spoke slowly and clearly so that Robbie would understand my severe warning. "I will agree to _train _you and your team of Moroi but I will not agree to take you on a hunt. You are training to protect yourselfs. Not to go out and ask for trouble. It doesn't work that way."

"Alright," Robbie said. "You're the teacher."

Who knew that in a few weeks time I would be breaking that agreement.

Total. Stupidity.


End file.
